It was the dark and storm morning before a dark and stormy night. A great day to do laundry. Penelope went outside – reluctantly –and took her toy, Mr. Bill, with her. If you remember from a previous Mutts Happening (OH, NO, February 2013), Penelope got Mr. Bill for Christmas. Mr. Bill is kind of like a squeak toy, except that he doesn’t squeak. He says, “Oh no.”
A soaked Penelope came in, but Mr. Bill wasn’t with her. I looked outside and saw him lying in a muddy puddle. I went out and rescued him from the elements. He looked grungy. His white face was streaked with brown. His red suit was grimy. Mr. Bill needed a bath. So I tossed him into the washer with the rest of the laundry.
Mr. Bill came out of the dryer looking crisp. Penelope was so happy to see him and ran around the house with him before tucking him away on her bed.
I took the clean laundry upstairs.
Was Mr. Bill inside the laundry basket?
No he wasn’t.
I found him on Penelope’s bed, but Penelope wasn’t there. She was asleep on the couch in the computer room. Wow, I thought, she got there fast. Oh well, I had work to do on the computer and brought Mr. Bill with me.
I began typing. Penelope woke up and stretched on the couch to watch me.
Mr. Bill was on the floor. Alone.
“Oh no!” he cried out.
Penelope and I jumped.
“Oh no!” He said it again.
The sound track from Psycho went off inside my head.
I grabbed Mr. Bill. He seemed wet – far wetter than what you’d expect from spaniel slobber. The only logical thing that came to mind was that Mr. Bill was suffering from water on the squeaker.
I put Mr. Bill back into the dryer. By himself.
No “Oh no’s” were heard from the dryer. After fifty minutes, Mr. Bill came out, warm and fluffy. Not wanting him anywhere near my bed, I left him on top of the dryer overnight.
The next morning Mr. Bill was still there. He hadn’t moved.
He’s been quiet for several days.
But if he pipes up, Penelope is learning to dial 9-1-1.