Bill on stairs

   Mr. Bill fell down the stairs.

It’s the third time today.

Mr. Bill gets into trouble every day. Several times every day.

Mr. Bill was Penelope’s Christmas present.

Let’s get this straight. Penelope is very good with her toys. She doesn’t tear them up. Okay, there was a canvas hippo that brought out the wild beast in her. And a canvas celebrity look-alike squeak toy was beaten up. But soft fluffy toys — no way. And that’s what Mr. Bill is —  a soft fluffy squeak toy. Except that he doesn’t squeak. He says, “Oh no.”

When Penelope first unwrapped Mr. Bill, she grabbed him with her mouth and shook him.

“Oh no.”

I guess Mr. Bill was feeling dizzy.

She tossed him across the room.

“Oh no.”

Nobody likes crashing into a wall.

Penelope likes to throw toys down the stairs and fetch them. It’s her version of a stair master.

But Mr. Bill says, “Oh no.”

In spite of all of his complaining, Mr. Bill has never been chewed. No stuffing has ever been shed. And when Penelope has been at dog school or at the doggie spa, the first thing she does when she comes home is cry over Mr. Bill. It’s as if she’s saying, “I missed you so much.”

So come on Mr. Bill. You have all your fluff. You have your squeaker. And though you smell like dog breath, would you rather be a canvas hippo or celebrity look-alike doll?

P & Bill B

“Oh no.”

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